IT'S BEEN REAL.....BUT I'VE GROWN TIRED OF THIS BLOG

The time has come for me to say goodbye. Although it's still a bit chilly outside, the Winter Season 60 Degree Challenge has come to a close. Did we succeed? Honestly I don't even know because our gas bill this month was still $156.00. Note to self: Next time have other person's gas bill available for comparison. For all I know we could have been paying the same price as everyone else all winter and suffering for no reason. Is that irony or coincidence? Either way, the money wasn't the true spirit of the challenge. It was about bearing down, taking life by the horns, and not letting anything control our lives but ourselves. It's a lot like when I refuse to use the bathroom right away when I have to pee because MY BLADDER DOES NOT OWN ME. At least not for another 40 years or so.

It won't be 70 degrees outside and sunny for several more weeks, but I feel I can handle it. I just recently returned from Florida so the heat from my sunburn should keep me warm for a few days. There's nothing like burnt flesh to keep you cozy, I just can't scratch any itches or I will peel it off. And for the rest of the time, I've finally found that guy I was looking for to mooch off of for a warm room. He thinks I really like him. It's so cute. But honestly, what a sucker. Poor sap. Once the temps stay consistently above 50, I will Keiser Soze his ass. Like that (poof) I'm gone.

Jackie and Amanda are in the same boat. They just don't give a rats ass anymore. We'll all pay $200 a month just for winter to be over. Forget the heat. Just give us some damn sunshine before we kill ourselves.

So thank you all for tuning in and staying with us on this incredible journey through the winter wasteland. Check back again this summer. Where I will be blogging the Summer Season Challenge. We have no air conditioning....things get a little sticky in the 90 degree weather.....and I literally sweat for 4 months straight. You think I'm joking. Seriously. I don't stop.

Until then, Adios.

WHOA! CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT THE GAS BILL!

How silly of me! I neglected to mention that after our $200,000,000 gas bill last month (or I supposed that's 2 months ago now), we only had to pay $74.00 for the next one. Now, $74.00 ain't cheap by any means, but it could have been a lot worse. I wasn't too upset. I would have liked to have seen something in the $50.00 range, but you can't always get what you want. And you know? As I think about that song, it just makes me mad. Who is that? Mick Jagger? Who are you to be talking about not getting what you want? You are a withered old man who still gets to rock out with his cock out on stage, have a hot young wife, and enough money to buy a small 3rd world country....or maybe just Franklin county. Regardless, don't preach to me about not always gettin what I want. You've got no room to talk. And I don't want to hear anymore bitching from any other music or movie star. All you people do is bitch and moan like tortured artists and you have everything in the world, except for you Ashley Parker Angel, former O-town member. You don't have anything, but you still don't get to bitch and moan because you're a complete social degenerate, blew all of your O-Town money on God knows what, knocked up some bitch and now refuse to get a steady job. But I digress..........

Reading through my old entries I realize that for all the complaining that I and my roommates do, we don't really do much to fight back against the cold anymore. I think 3 months of freezing our asses off hath broken our spirit. It's not that we're used to it, but more like we've surrendered to the cold. We know we can't do anything about it. Anything that's effective will cost money, which would defeat the purpose of turning the heat down. Speaking of money. Why am I so broke? What have I been spending all my money on? I've been to the bar 3 times this quarter and haven't gone to the mall once? What is going on? But again, I digress........

I mean, we might as well just turn the heat up for the rest of the winter. Enough pressure. Enough torment. Enough yelling. Enough shivering! My traps can't take much more. What am I saying??!! NO! WE CAN'T TURN UP THE HEAT! WE'VE COME TOO FAR TO GIVE UP NOW. Plus for a while there it was looking like it would warm up. My nose is so big and comes so far off my face that it is always freezing cold, even when I am sweating at the gym. My nose is always cold. It's like the tip of the mountain poking through the clouds. There's a winter storm brewing about my nostrils....What am I saying? What are these words? I'm saying that I'm going to keep my big nose to the grindstone and keep the heat off like I said I would. But it looks like the real enemy of the house isn't the cold, but rather the bitching about the cold. There's so much negativity running through our happy home now. It's in the walls. We're headed straight for a blood bath. One of these days somebody's gonna snap. Probably Jackie. She's seems all quiet and put together. But let me tell you. She is a ticking time bomb. And she will eat your face. But she does know how to look on the bright side. Example:

Danielle- "How's it going Jackie?"

Jackie- "Pretty good. My room is quite toasty right now. Looks like I'll only need to go with 2 comforters tonight and the wool blanket."

See? Bright side. Until she eats my face. Bottom line. We really haven't done much more to combat this cold. My 'defeat it with harsh language and spite' approach really isn't doing much to keep me warm. No space heaters yet either. That would mean crawling out from under my blankets to go to the store. Baby steps.

HOW DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE

I'm standing in the kitchen, shivering uncontrollably from the cold. The sweat is cooling on my body from working out, so that makes it even worse. So I stand there...shakin like bacon...SPOONING OUT A HEAPING BOWL OF ICE CREAM. I swear, I am nothing more than a walking contradiction sometimes. And then I hear a knock at the door. It's Jackie and our friend Sam. They storm in the door, "OOOOoooooooOOOo It's soooo cold. Jeez! I mean, man! It is just freezing!" In their hands are cups of UDF soft serve ice cream. Two more contradictions have just walked in the door. So the three of us sit in the living room, watch Sex and the City, and discuss how cold we are during the commercials.....ALL WHILE DESPERATELY CLINGING TO OUR ICE CREAM. You ask me, I think we're just asking for it.

THIS IS REALLY STARTING TO PISS ME OFF.

I'm thinking about contacting Underarmor for a sponsorship. We'll plaster their brand name all over campus if they supply us with spandex to keep us warm and insulate us under our clothes. I slept in a hooded sweatshirt, with hood pulled up, under 2 heavy blankets last night and was still cold. This is just ridiculous. And my nose is constantly running. Constantly. On top of that, I'm exhausted. Does the cold make anyone else tired....I mean....I....just.....can't........keep...........my...............eyes..............open......zzzz